Innocence is beautiful. It is something I breathed back into my lungs as I walked through the friendly streets of my 8 am small town. It smelled like lemon poppy seeds and too much sunscreen and homemade bread. It made me smile to myself for the rest of the walk, it filled me with peace of mind and endless possibility. It is not just the colorful humming birds that tap on your window, or the deer that stare you right in the eye, or the friendly squirrels who laugh and giggle as they chase each other up the trees outside my window that make this place magical. It isn’t the winding rock garden my mom created in the back yard, or the charming victorian houses with three chimneys and spiraling vines and stories to tell. And it’s not the gas light lamps that line the streets or the brick convent with it’s symphony of church bells. No, it’s the peace you can find while walking alone down the enchanted streets that make it magical. It’s the inspiration the wind breathes. It’s the poetry hiding in the corners of this town that make it something wonderful.

I am not angry or scared, resentful or bitter. I am not in a hurry to grow up or break hearts. I am content, I am blessed. I get to see my mamas brown eyes grinning at me every morning, I get to drip sweat onto a blue mat as I push myself to the limit in a window-sorrounded gym, and taste cooking sent straight from heaven created by the hands of my dad. I a family filled with love, an enchanted home, and a blue eyed boyfriend who knows all my secrets. And my baby brother who even though he thinks I resent him, hes the only one whos music has ever truely made me cry or laugh.
Like I said,
I am blessed.

love conquers.

Lately we've been up and down. It feels like we've been moving backwards and forwards and sideways and all over and im exhausted from it.
I'm exhausted from the fighting, and bad words, the apolagies. I'm exhausted from just giving up and falling to my knees and asking why we put eachother through it. I'm exhausted from the tears and to be honest my eyes are all dry.

The other night I sat down and looked at the woman who meant the most to you in your life. We talked for hours, and she told me heart wrenching, tearful stories. That made me love her that much more, she told me life's just going to get harder, that we have it better than most people do and we don't need to throw that away. She told you to shrug off the things you know won't matter in an hour, be kind, be sensible, and to stop pushing the only girl that's ever loved you for you away. I cried in her arms, and then yours.

Today i've never felt anymore different in my life. I felt in love again.

You love me when my breath smells like BBQ. You love me when I lick my fingers in nice resteraunts and leave you 20 minute voicemails. You love me when I’m knocked down, fucked up, tired of the universe. When I’m a total nerd, a liberal minded girl, when I take too many pictures of you. You love me when I can’t look in the mirror because I’m tired of what's looking back at me.
And just when I start to forget...
You remind me of how beautiful I am.

Generations

Now we know, that we know nothing. Sitting in the company of a passionate couple still head over heals in love after 60 years of marriage, til death do us part was something they took to heart you can tell by the look in their eyes. Proving us wrong about things we always thought we had right, about things we were always so comfortable with. 3 years is nothing compared to the times they have gone through, the miracles they have shared together, the heartache, and hard work they have put into each and every aspect of there picture perfect life together. The moment he turned to us, and looked at us with his big eyes, with so much wisdom and so much knowledge and said "enjoy your life together,it goes by too fast"i fell in love, with these souls sitting across the little table from me.

untitled

Yesterday me and my favorite beautiful brunette took a trip into what seemed like a different kind of world. Craving starbucks but settling for big buckets of fruit filled lemonade we walked down rows and rows of people trying to sell their passion. Baskets of raspberries, loaves of bread, cookies, cakes, and honey. We spent hours soaking up the sun, and the beauty behind these tents, and this crowd.

Finally we stopped and flipped through books of endless possibilities. We both settled on one and watched in amazement as this gorgeous girl scribbled henna all over our legs and ankles.

Our escape finally came to an end, when I finally got to the same big building i've been staring at for 2 years since you've worked there I could tell today was not your day. We fought and made up and kissed and talked, and talked, and talked. Part of me enjoys these days, they bring topics of inner happiness, and harmony, and ways to bring all of these things out in ourselves. It brings plans for us, and dreams.

It brings a chance for ME to finally, for once, be there for you, to keep you grounded.

drawing peace signs..

I believe in first kisses and lullabies. I believe in stained glass windows and lightening bugs and poetry. I believe in music and falling to your knees when you can’t fight anymore and you shouldn't have to. I believe in a soul so divine that it can love a world full of sinners and forgive a universe of lovers. I believe in the harmony, we find when we admit that sometimes there are things we cannot change. The sun feels so good and for a single moment in time when I caught my reflection in a cafe window I was overwhelmed with peace. I could breathe. I could listen to the sounds around me and feel like I was part of something bigger than this small boring city. Usually I find that feeling when the car windows are down and a country singer is singing about his town, his love. Or when im rolling around in the snow with an angel who brings me chocolate milkshakes when I cry in blueberry colored corners. Or when you dedicated Change of Pace lyrics to me on crumpled paper and drew hearts by my name. I got lost in you when you played acoustic guitar on the plaid couch by the fire. When I fell for you in big buildings, old cars, and sweaty small shows.
We live in a world with crazy, messed up people.
We live for what we believe in the most.
We live in love.