love.

I finally apologized to you. An apology I didn’t know i owed until i re-read the words I wrote so long ago. When my hair was long and my temper was short. When I first discovered metal music and lemon cake. I was sixteen and untamable and wondering why I didn’t fit in your arms anymore. I was dizzy headed and full of doubt and torn between the girl i used to be and the woman I was becoming. A woman who knows the power of her words, a woman who knows the value of an apology and when she needs to deliver one. I did not apologize for who I was, how I felt, what I dreamed. I apologized for the hurt that the poems i thought were so pretty caused. For the assumptions I made about the new life you were trying to create for us. For the bitterness that was lurking underneath my words. I am sorry if I ever made you cry. I am sorry if I ever made you doubt the way that I love you. But I am glad that all those entries led me to this one. I am glad all of our tiny disasters created a pathway to love we can walk down together.