Living in the now.

It’s the start of a new year and everyone is promising to change.

Swearing this year they’ll lose those ten pounds. quit their smoking habit. turn their life around.

THIS year, they will become the person they were meant to be.

And this time next year, they will be looking back. Wondering what the hell happened. Wondering where they went wrong. Wondering how those 365 days seemed to slip through their fingers like strands of silk. So quickly and beautifully that they never even knew that they once held change in their grasp with an iron tight fist fueled by determination and the fallout of past mistakes.

This year, I will not swear to change.

I will swear to live.

I will swear to embrace this new year and its 365 days ahead with a bold passion that gets lost in the hum drum of everyday life. I will swear to never stop looking at all that I have and being amazed. I will swear to do everything in my power to cross off those 100 things on my list of things to do before I die- because any one of these 365 days could be our last. And what a shame to leave this wonderful world without feeling mountains beneath my feet or twirling in circles on the hills of Ireland. Laughing without restraint and learning to play the piano. Loving as fully and fiercely as I can, and letting go of the past.

So when I found you at midnight in that crowded living room, sorrounded by pretty lights and sweaty faces and the smell of spilled champagne, I took your scruffy face in my hands and kissed you with my eyes wide open. Because I didn’t want to miss a second of this new year with you.