Leaves

The days of fall are flying by quickly now. The leaves are more full of color and life than ever, sometimes it’s hard to forget that they are really dead on the ground. Their sad reality disguised by their beauty and their vibrance and the way they make our quiet suburban streets look while the kids pile off the school bus and crunch them beneath their neon sneakers and knee high rain boots. Some days I feel like a fall leaf. Dressed up in bright colors and hippie sweaters and crazy anecdotes about the wacky incidents that make up my life. Smothered in smiles and goofy voices but on the inside there are days when I feel void of that vivid spirit. When I feel painfully empty.
What is it that makes us into zombies? Eating, breathing, speaking, smiling. But dead. Unfulfilled. Lacking. I don’t want to be a zombie. I refuse to settle for the dead life so many become accustom to. I want a life that sparkles. I want a life that glitters like the dew on the grass after a summer thunderstorm. One with no regrets, one where my heart was used, abused, sewed back together and beat with a glowing vengeance for anyone and everyone who was brave enough to love it. I want a life of forgiveness. That sweet, delicious word that brings best friends together and mends even the most dilapadated of bridges. I want art, music, poetry hidden in every nook and cranny of my world. I want to live.